I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
