I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
this boner is exhausting
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
