Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
