I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
