how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
