At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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