Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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