She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I look better un-naked...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
