I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
