didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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