weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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