On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
