it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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