That's intense
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
