btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
