JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
