I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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