He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
