So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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