i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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