Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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