I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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