i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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