Sry I called you an 8
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
