was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
