just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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