Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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