New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
