Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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