We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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