FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
soo... how was my night?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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