The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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