he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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