So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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