I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
