Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
