90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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