i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
There's always time for handjobs
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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