D3 body, D1 cock
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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