Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Randomize
