Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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