And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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