I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
