Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
