I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
