That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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