Are we in a gay sports bar?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
