my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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