His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
