You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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